I have known I was bi since I was 17, but part of me never wanted to accept that. I’m not used to sharing my feelings and it just felt supremely awkward to announce who I did or didn’t fancy over the dinner table. When I did come out to my mum last Christmas, slightly tipsy and heavily influenced by a Top of the Pops rerun, I still said I wasn’t sure I’d ever actually date a woman. I guess I wanted to make her, and myself, feel better about it all.

Me (first from the right) at my first pride in 2017 

A year on, I feel much more comfortable in my identity, and a big part of that journey into self-acceptance has been queer fiction. Specifically, queer YA romance. Seeing queer love stories play out on the page has made it seem like a real option for me, rather than some far-off possibility that could never happen to me.

Enjoying the Gay Village in Manchester this summer

Since last Christmas, I have read six queer romance novels and listened to one audiobook. Each one was both a healing and affirming experience for me, and I can’t wait to read more in the new year.

My Queer Bookshelf

In the past twelve months, I’ve read every genre from historical novels to science fiction and fantasy, but queer romance has always been at their centre. This year I read:

• The Cemetry Boys by Aiden Thomas
• One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston
• Autoboyography by Christina Lauren
• I Kissed Shara Wheeler by Casey McQuiston (skip this section to avoid spoilers)
• Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston
• Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo
• They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera

Red, White and Royal Blue

As you can tell, I really love Casey McQuiston. ‘Red, White and Royal Blue’ stole my heart not because it introduced to queer romance, but because it was gripping, fun and heartbreaking all at the same time. As soon as it finished I wanted more and read everything Casey McQuiston had to offer.

One Last Stop

I was so excited to read a wlw story when I got my hands on ‘One Last Stop’. It was only when I started reading that I realised just how little lesbian representation I had seen up until that point. Reading and rooting for August and Jane’s love story was so validating even if the sci-fi subplot was very removed from my own life experience.

I Kissed Shara Wheeler

Finally, I listened to I Kissed Shara Wheeler on audiobook. This is probably my least favourite of all Casey McQuiston’s novels but I liked it nonetheless. As a bi woman who grew up Catholic and always put herself under immense academic pressure, I completely empathise with the characters. But, this enemy-turned-lovers story didn’t only set the protagonists free, but the entire graduating class. The last few pages felt like a joyous healing I wish every queer person who grew up religious could have.

Autoboyography by Christina Lauren

Set in an ultra-Mormon community, ‘Autoboyography’ had similar themes to ‘I Kissed Shara Wheeler’. Before reading, all I knew about Mormonism was learnt from cult-ish Netflix and while ‘Autoboyography’ didn’t shy away from the problematic side of the religion it also revealed some of the good. Finally, while I enjoyed the metaficitional elements of the story, I wish we got more of an insight into Seb and Tanner’s lives after the novel- perhaps there’s room for a sequel?

The Cemetry Boys by Aiden Thomas

I studied Spanish at university and have always been interested in Hispanic culture, so this queer, fantasy romance set around the Day of the Dead celebrations was so much fun to read. The gripping fantasy plot, also masterfully reflected the yearning to reconcile sexual, gender and cultural identity that many queer readers will recognise, providing a great balance between reflection and escapism.

Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo

This novel also explores the complex interplay between sexuality and cultural identity set against the background of 1950s Chinatown. From a lesbian club in San Francisco, Lily and Kathleen’s relationship blossoms despite immense racial, social and cultural pressure. Reading this book was a learning experience for me, as I knew very little about the ‘Red-Scare’ and the underground queer culture the plot revolves around.

What next?

Although I have come a long way in the last year, there is still work to be done in my journey towards self-acceptance. But luckily, that also means lots more queer romance novels! Last weekend I took a trip to one of my favourite indy bookshops, The Bookish Type in Leeds, to pick my Christmas reads. I picked ‘The Holiday Trap’ by Roan Parrish and ‘Seasons of Love’ by Helena Greer for myself but couldn’t resist ‘You’re a Mean One, Matthew Prince’ by Timothy Janovsk for my sister. As the year draws to a close, I hope I’ve inspired you to join me in the joyful world that is queer romance fiction.